I am QUIRKY.

   When you meet me the first thing you might notice is the way I say certain things. It's cause I'm Southern and sometimes things just pop out that might sound weird. My Colorado friends ask "Can't you just not talk like that and think before you say something?" No. No I can't. 

  The second thing you might notice is that I have a weird sense of style. I love plaid and rainboots and dresses and cutoff shorts. It's like someone decided to combine a country gal's wardrobe with a classy chick's. Weird stuff. 

   I'm also pretty sure I'm adopted cause I'm the ONLY person in my family who likes romantic comedies. Like come on guys. I can dig superheroes, but I love rom coms. Go ahead judge me. I don't even care.    

    I've come to accept the fact that I'm odd. I love who I am, and I hope nothing changes that. I can geek out about the show Wicked and Hunter Hayes in the same conversation, and I think that's cool. I've been struggling a little bit about how I felt about myself, and this post kind of aided that. I'm sorry I haven't been posting ANYTHING but my senior year is coming 'round the corner. It's probably gonna get worst soon. I'm so pumped to be a senior! 

 

Over and out. 

Love 

C, 

Video of the Day: 

Super duper cool acapella group. 

Shoutout of the Day: A friend who's going through a rough spell that made my day today. You go girl, I'm praying for you.

Stress and Prettiness (it kinda rhymes)

Hey guys!
   So today I'm gonna talk about how stressed I am and how much I hate the world and the fact that whether or not I go to college is based on some numbers. Fun times. I'm so stressed out right now, I could cry. And eat ice cream. I think I'm gonna skip the crying and go straight to the ice cream today. Alrighty? Alrighty.

    Oh! And its being all sunshiny today. I appreciate that. Ya know, it is easier to feel pretty in warm weather versus cold weather. 'Cause in cold weather, you gotta bundle up and every morning it's the same decision: be comfortable or be fashionable? And guys can look attractive in sweats and sweatshirts, even some girls can. CAILIN CANNOT DO THIS. Cailin cannot, as they say in Colorado "scrub it" and look fabulous at the same time. In the spring and summertime, you already feel fantastic, so you can always pick being fashionable cause it's not cold out. It's hard living in Colorado, cause I know that as soon as I buy shorts, it will start snowing again.I live in a cruel world.
SO yeah, I sound bipolar...fun times.
Over and out.
Love,
C

Video of the Day:

 You're welcome.

Shoutout of the Day: To all people who don't respond to text messages. When it's been three days since I sent you a text, I imagine scenarios in which something horrible is happening to you and that is why you can't respond. Like being mauled by a grizzly. Yep. I wouldn't text someone back if I was being mauled by a grizzly. 

   

Husband Wanted

Author's note: This was written satirically to model 'Wife Wanted' a piece read in my English class. This is for humorous intent, I don't have ANY of these expectations, so don't freak out. Thank you.

     I am unmarried. I have been unmarried for seventeen years. And I now feel an urge to tie myself down to a male. More specifically, I want a husband.

    Now for a male to be considered eligible to court me, he  must fufill some requirements. He must be of the same religion I am, taller than me; he must be attractive, but not too attractive lest I feel he is too good for me. He must be able to converse with me in matters I find interesting. He must always smell good. He must be talented musically. He must find Southern accents irresistible. And he will understand that he shouldn't socially interact with other females besides me, while not getting upset when I am accidentally charming to other men. 
    If he fits all these requirements and a mutual attraction develops, he must ask my father, stepfather, uncle, and any other male that plays some sort of role in my life, if he may court me. He musn't show any nervousness and be excruciatingly respectful.
    If all goes well, I imagine we'll date for a couple of years, years full of romantic dinners and multiple exchanges of stuffed animals holding hearts.

 

       When the time comes, I imagine he'll have planned the most spectacular night a girl could have, and he'll propose. We'll get married in a big church with lots of guests and lots and lots of cake; of course I'll be wearing the most beautiful wedding dress money can buy. We will be very happy. For our honeymoon we'll backpack Europe, a dream of mine.

        We'll settle down eventually, and have two or three children; he'll sit by my side as I go through more pain than I thought I could bear. He'll go to work as I do laundry, cook for the kids, clean up after the kids, play with the kids, and keep the dog out of the cat's litterbox. I'll kiss every boo-boo and prepare organic food every night.

        Our kids will grow up and one by one leave the house. Feeling a lack of purpose, I'll start volunteering more and dressing up the dog. At some point and time our kids will bring home kids, and our hair will start to gray. We'll get to the point where we're doing good if we remember each other's names.

 

I mean, isn't that what it's all about?

 

Over and out.



Love,
C

 Video of the Day:

    

(This IS what it's all about.)



  

 Shoutout of the Day: Goes to my really awesome mom. She's a sweetheart and I don't know what I'd do without her.
 

When I am a Rebel

I spent my childhood in a conservative neighborhood. I'm a pastor's kid. I don't get into much trouble.

But one of these days, I'll show them.

That I am a rebel. (cue dramatic music).

What will I do, when I am a rebel?

I'm glad you asked. 

First thing on my list is to get this haircut:

   I've always wanted a pixxie-ish haircut but was always too scared to try it. When I am a rebel, I will get this haircut. I don't care if boys like girls with long hair. Screw boys.

 

Secondly, I will get a tattoo.

   I've always wanted one, despite having a very low pain tolerance. My uncle's a tattoo artist, and a good one at that, maybe I'll get a discount.

 

Thirdly, I will get a cat.

   Cats are practically the symbols of rebelling and are cute to boot! My cat and I will get along swimmingly and live happily ever after.

 

 

I've run out of rebellious ideas.What would you do?

 

Over and out.

Love,
Cailin

 

Video of the Day:



   It has nothing to do with my topic, but I like the song. So yeah.

Shoutout of the Day: Goes to my sophomore girls and guys in Singin' in the Rain! Y'all did a great job, I give ya props.

 



Home

What is home?

   Home is defined as where one lives permanently. For someone who has moved a lot in her life, I feel like that isn't true for me, cause I haven't lived anywhere permanently. Home is that place that gives you warm fuzzies, the place where you go to when you're upset, the place that is filled of stories about you and what Little You was like. And there are quite a few of those places for me. I mean...let's just walk through that a little.

I lived in four different towns in Arkansas. The one I spent the most time in is Fort Smith, Arkansas. I remember playing soccer at a park there. I remember playing games in a grove. Everytime I visit there, I drive past old schools and old hangout places.

I lived in Virginia Beach, and it grew on me. It was that awk middle school age, but I made two or three really good friends there that I still talk to years later. I would love to just stand on the beach and listen to the seagulls for a while.

Never my home. HATED living there.

Sigh, my last residence. Fell in love with theater and frozen yogurt while living there. I miss it a lot, the food, the people, the weather (compared to here!), and the again the people. I loved going on a walk and running into like five friends. I didn't want to leave Cincinnati.

I wonder what I will write about this place.

 

Over and out!

Love,

Cailin

 

Video of the Day:

This song kinda inspired this post.

Shoutout of the Day:

To a friend of mine who is having a rough time. I'm praying for ya.
Cailin



AP Lang Bit

    We need to Care.

 

     Now, that's not the best title, but give me a moment to enlighten you. When I first attended Eaglecrest, it was one of the hardest school relocations I've ever had to go through. At my old school I was at the top of my game socially, rarely felt alone, and I liked it that way. I'm an extrovert and people jazz me up. When I had to move I was sad, but ready to see what this new place would bring me. I wasn't going down without a fight.

Well, let's just say EHS metaphorically broke all my ribs and dislocated my shoulders.

     School became a somewhat torturous activity. I walked around school with my head held high, but not feeling the confidence I pretended to have. Why? Nobody cared. Nobody cared about the girl who sat in the corner and waited for everyone to leave so she could eat without feeling self-conscious. Who wilted when people stared at her, when the only person who sat by her was doing it for a psychology experiment. I was desperate, I walked up to people I didn't know, would talk to them, they seem cool. The next day, it was like I had never spoken to them. My presence wasn't acknowledged.

    Thankfully, this isn't the end of the story. I eventually made friends and don't worry about the things I did back then. Moral of the story is that if I was in a different place, if I wasn't as stubborn as I was to make friends, something bad might've happened. I might have done something I regretted. I might have given up. And why would that have happened?

Nobody cares. That message is screamed at you through the halls. In the lunchroom. In class.

    Is this the message you want to send? Is this what people want to think of the student body when they leave EHS? I'd bet good money that my audience that I'm writing to doesn't want people to think that. Then, make the change. Set a trend. Sit by that girl wearing funky boots and ask her how she's doing.

Care. If you don't, God knows no one else will.

I Don't Like Liking People

  So, this has nothing to do with Valentine's Day because Valentine's Day is my birthday therefore it can do no wrong. This is just a Cailin's-gonna-rant-and-hope-nobody-sees-this-post-that-I-know. Let us begin.

    Once upon a time, I like a person. So I try to act cool, tell myself I don't like him, and remind myself every couple minutes that ninety percent of teen relationships don't work out. He probably likes someone with bigger tits than mine. While this thought process is successful, it's only successful for a short time.

I then decide the best thing to do is hide my feelings and not accept the fact that I like him.

 

   Thusly, I take a metaphorical shovel and dig a great big metaphorical hole and bury all those feelings in the bottom of my heart. And I refuse to let myself fantasize about any sort of 'us.' This is a very effective, if not emotionally draining method. So effective actually, that I don't notice when it quits working. It quits working:

 

When I blush or try to get said male to laugh.

When I look at facebook pictures and his face is the first one I see.

When encounters with said male are the highlights of my day.

When he smiles and I get these butterflies.

Damn those butterflies.



   When I get to the point where I am tired, a tad hormonal, and emotionally kaput, I realize the fact for what it is. That I like this individual. And he probably doesn't like me back.

 

  So I let my heart break and it whithers up and I just sit in a ball wondering why God made people, and why I'm not a hermit. And I vow never to find myself attracted in a romantic fashion to any individual.

I'll let you imagine how effective that is.



Over and out.

Love,

C

 

Video of the Day:

Warning, I found this song relatable but depressing as all get out. Listen at your own risk.

Shoutout of the Day: To my boys who had a gig I couldn't go to. I'm sorry. One of these days one of us will be filthy rich and will have the means to transport me to see y'all. I love my big brothers.:)

 





Why must my Passion equal Unhappiness?

Hey guys!

    I'm in a bad mood.

Why?

  Well for one thing, my dad left. He came into town to celebrate Christmas with us and he had to leave today...





 

 Two, school is starting soon and I have a ton of homework that I haven't even contemplated starting on (consisting of a script, an eight page paper, and a mountain of chemistry homework). Oh the joys of being a major procrastinator.

 

 And with school starting. It makes me think about the fact that I auditioned for Singin' in the Rain and didn't get past callbacks...again. I don't know, maybe I should just, give up on school theater. Maybe I should try and find some guild. Because I LOVE THEATER. It's a major passion of mine, it makes all my bad things dissappear. But, I, didn't get into the musical...that I thought I would be in...not even a big part, just in.

 

 When I saw the cast list, I was just like, OK, move on. I have free time to get a job, we're good. So I applied to be a starbucks barista. I have not heard back from them either.





 

None of this is a self esteem boost.



 

So I got crazy.

  I bought a guitar. I'd been contemplating buying a guitar for a long time, but I started actively looking and pursuing it. The thing that made my search more difficult than others is the fact that I was looking for a left-handed guitar. I googled models, called up an uncle who knew what he was talking about, and walked into a guitar store to see if they had any left handed guitars I was looking for.

 

  And thanks be to God they had two! I kinda felt like I didn't belong in the store since I had no clue what I was doing, but one of the two was the exact one I wanted: A pretty Ibanez acoustic electric. It felt right. Next day I made a tad ridiculous account withdrawal and bought my guitar.

 

  So I have a guitar. That happened. And I haven't told many people. I kinda want it to be my quiet thing till I know what I'm doing. And, the thing about the guitar is I don't have to audition to enjoy it. You just get started, it all depends on you, no one else.

 

And I apologize, the picture thing isn't working on this blog, so this blog came without pictures. I sorry...

 

Over and out.

Love,

Cailin

 

(No videos or shoutouts today. Sorry.)