SO usually I do some resolutions and think I'm gonna commit to them and then two weeks later I'm ridden with guilt cause I haven't raised a finger to do anything on the list I wrote down. I've resolved this year to not make resolutions.
I'm just gonna try and strenghten my friendships and be more of myself around people. And I'm sorry my posts have been so short recently, I have had no time to think or process anything. Which is partly these kids' faults.
Internet, meet Zadak and Briah. They are beautiful.
Over and out. Love, Cailin
Video of the Day:
This guy is brilliant.
Shoutout of the Day:
Whoever told me mountain lions roam around here. You know who you are. I look behind me now, I refuse to be eaten by a lion. Come at me cat. On second thought, JK please just stay up in the mountains eating rams and lost souls.
So I watched Les Miserables on stage and it was three hours of absolute beauty...and and goodness. And as everyone knows, it has come out in theaters and I want to see it, but I'm afraid it's not going to be good. AND I REALLY REALLY WANT IT TO BE GOOD CAUSE HUGH JACKMAN IS IN IT.
Anywho, that's all I got today.
Over and out. Love, Cailin
So I've been pretty awful when it comes to posting content and I am very sorry about that.
It's just there's so much time that is taken up when you move.
Forreals.
So, yeah. MOVING ON.
Things I am Thankful for (in no particular order):
1. My family. I would be completely lost without them. I love them dearly and can't imagine life without them.
2. My friends and mentors. I'm talking about friends I've made in every state I've been in. I LOVE Y'ALL. My life would be absolutely dull and sad without you.
3. My cat, Cimber. I didn't like cats much before meeting you. Now, I welcome cats with open arms, and it's all cause of you. You sexy beast.
5. My small group. Over the years, I have had many great small groups. However, this group has been a bit like family, and they have made this move much smoother than it might've been without. For example, when they heard my mom didn't plan on having a baby shower, they threw one for her! I think they're wonderful.
6. My opportunities. As a middle class American, I am blessed for a roof over my head and food in my stomach. I am also given the privilege of going to a decent school. And I can go to church without being persecuted for it.
So yeah. That's all. Happy holidays!
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
Video of the Day:
I found this thought-provoking.
Shoutout of the Day:
I found this awesome blogger who posts as infrequently as I do! She's hilarious. Check her out!
And well...would you like to hear what happened that week?
Thought you would.
That Friday afterschool my dad came and picked me and my sibs up from my mom's. This sounds pretty normal, but considering I hadn't seen him in seven months; it didn't feel normal, it felt surreal. We hung out, we talked, we laughed, we caught up on what each other was doing in each our lives' and we laughed some more. It was good.
On Wednesday, he dropped us off and we headed to this Halloween/Harvest Festival thing at my church. I didn't really dress up, I wore a Green Lantern shirt and jeans, because I'm classy like that. I ran into my friends and we hung out and helped out and hung out some more. Then the group I was hanging out with was sweet enough to invite me to go to Village Inn (pie place/restaurant) with them. I talked my parents into letting me go and then we were off! And I had a lot of fun, I hadn't gone out with any friends since July...it was a breath of fresh air.
Thursday my family and I drove up to a mountain cabin that belonged to some friends of ours and let me tell you: mountains are pretty, but they hurt. I had a monster of a headache, and just felt, terrible.They had a sign on the wall that said, "The closer you are to the mountains, the closer you are to heaven." Well, God knows I'm a sinner. In spite of it all, I enjoyed myself, but I'm a city girl at heart.
SO YEAH. That was what I was up to.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin Rogers
Video of the Day:
Shoutout of the Day: Well nothing big today, I was just having an absolutely awful day and a friend of mine was sweet enough to stop and give me a hug. It made my day. And I thought one of my friends was transferring to another school, but he's not, so that is lovely. That's all folks!
DISCLAIMER: To any unschoolers out there I apologize if I offend, I'm just an ignorant kid who needed something to write about and pick on.
Thinking Outside of the Pencil Box
by Cailin Rogers
I was taught from a very young age one important fact. It was
common sense, something that seemed to just be part of life.
Homeschoolers are smarter than public school kids. I was too little to
read it from a media source, how did I know this fact so innately?
One could infer that my tiny ears picked it up at 'co-op,' an
organization created by moms for homeschooled kids. Or from my friends.
Or from my parents.
You see, I was homeschooled until fifth grade.
I am very familiar with homeschooling and public school. And I
think in scenarios with good variables, both work.Then I heard of
unschooling, which I was unaware of it's existence. It's proper
definition is a "lack of schooling" and that definition is frightfully
unhelpful in depicting what it actually is. Basically, unschooling is
when mothers allow their kids to learn what they wish. Children decide
what they do for the day, and children decide exactly what they learn.
These kids have never touched a textbook or taken a test; they act as if
school systems don't exist. Many of these parents don't set rules for
their kids.
When I first heard of this, I thought, my God, these kids are
living the dream. Then I thought about the future of these unschooled
kids. Their parents give them no boundaries, so they will have a harder
time understanding that no, you can't go as fast as you want on the
road, and other rules set by the government. They've never taken a test
or studied a textbook, so how will they get into a good college, if they
are even literate enough to fill the application. And say they get into
college, they will be competing against kids that have been using
textbooks and taking tests since they could stand up...I wonder how they
will succeed in life?
My opinion? Homeschooling=Smiley face. Unschooling=? Well, don't ask them, no one taught them math.
Guys, guys, it has been too long. But I have a good excuse, I moved into my new house and have spent every other minute unpacking or doing homework. It's great.
Today though my topic will not involve either of those; today, I will be talking about a family with an aversion to cowmilk.
You see before moving into our lovely new home, my family stayed with another family at their lovely home until we could close on our house. It was...an interesting experience. After getting my dinner plate, and turning around to find my dinner plate mysteriously gone with alot of innocence in the air...I knew I'd get along with these folks.
It was alot of fun living with them; I mean honestly when I met Heather I was thrilled to meet someone just as dramatic me. I had to learn that no, you don't hug Matt and calling the petbird Sushi is generally frowned upon. I discovered the way of the gluten free and how one goes about that path (a good three-fourths of the family is gluten intolerant). I discovered that in 2012 people still write letters, Ben writes them! And Elisa likes chocolate and cherry cake (ew, still love you Elisa). I learned that Mr. Steve is a Republican after his third joke about Democrats (which WAS NOT nice). I learned that Mrs. Jennifer lived in two different countries. And you can imagine what they learned about me...
There was quite a bit of joking around, quite a bit of teasing, and quite a bit of personal conversations and growing together as two families.
And well, I hate to say this so others can gloat (*cough* *cough*) but I might kind of possbly miss y'all. It's weird not having as many people to tease or be teased by.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
Video of the Day:
I thought this was very creative, and well, brilliant.
Shoutout of the Day:
To all the people at my church that have befriended me and made me feel so welcome, y'all are awesome. You guys make my Sundays awesome and warm fuzzy days. Thank you.
Another opinion piece written by me for AP Lang. Enjoy!
What Grown-folks Teach
by Cailin Rogers
Trust me, as much as I would love to rip
my claws into the debate and have people lose respect for me merely for
making scathing remarks, I don't want blood on my hands. This
unfortunately leaves me with zero writing ideas. Let's see...abortion,
already done...homosexuality…written...obviously, everything is taken! Aha! Now, what better topics to expand
upon, then on what our very dear mommies and daddies and aunties and
uncles have taught us? What little golden nuggets of knowledge have they
lovingly placed into our hands? (And by our hands I mean our American hands.) Firstly and lastly. The Alpha and Omega
piece of wisdom that they wish to give us: Money is God. Family
matters, of course, but Money is what matters most. Why else would there
not be a national limit to how many hours you work? Why it seems your
life revolves around dollars and cents, how much you are reminded the
amount it costs for you to just stand there. Understand the fact that
you live on a ladder called career, and you must constantly be looking
at the rung above yours. It is your moral obligation that at
Thanksgiving and during the holidays you look at a rung below yours, but
by January 1st, your eye better be on the top rung. In sequential order with the last
tidbit, stuff is important. By stuff I mean houses, cars, computers,
horse-drawn carriages, and you better pray to Money if you don’t have
the most recent iPhone. Make sure you have more or as much as your
neighbor. This may be difficult if you and your neighbors haven’t spoken
a word since your neighbor knocked on your door and you promptly
discovered at six on a Saturday morning, that he was a Jehovah’s
Witness, and he discovered you wore pajama pants with duckies on them.
Be sneaky, peek through windows and make sure you always have a trusty
pair of binoculars with you. Send your children to borrow cups of sugar,
and then interrogate them on the inside of the neighbors’ home.
Remember, stuff is imperative to life. Comparisons are also part of life. It
is totally okay for you to look at a celebrity and compare the size of
your anatomy to his/hers because that body part is totally real. It is
also okay for you to have a low self-esteem and feel the need to change
yourself, because honey, even models think they’re fat. I mean, if it
wasn't why would our magazines, TV, and the beautiful wonderful Internet
be covered with images of these individuals and ways for us to cure
this apparent ailment? This is also a challenge, you can have her size
thighs, haven’t you heard if there’s a will there’s a way? Achieve this
challenge, and all doors will be opened, you will be the life of every
gathering you attend. The final parting words on every dying
adult’s lips are two words. Be yourself. No matter what that entails,
getting a tattoo you’ll regret when your 35? Go for it. Experimenting
with sketchy substances? Proud of you. Risk being stuck paying child
support for an ungodly amount of time? You go kid. Because you’re being
yourself, and as long as you’re being yourself, no harm no foul, no
wrong can come from you being yourself. So there you have it peers, all the
things you are being taught by grownups. Now, all you have to do is pass
that onto your children. They’ll appreciate it, I guarantee. NOTE: The author's
parental units have not taught her these values. Although the author has
had to knock on a neighbor's door and awkwardly ask for two eggs
because her mother refused to go all the way to the grocery store for
two eggs.
I have to go to my hipster small group (that is how it will be referred to from this moment forward). And before that I have to finish my chemistry because I HAVE to have a good grade in that class. Goodness life is stressful.
Anywho I got a lot of views on my last post, YAY!! So thanks guys, feel free to comment on any of my posts and post them on facebook or twitter. Kay cool, bye. Over and out!
Yours, Cailin
You know those annoying people that just bump into things and leave their stuff everywhere?
I have a confession to make.
I, Cailin Rogers, plead guilty in the incident in which I forgetfully left my purse at Noodles and had to go back right before they closed to retrieve said item.
I, Cailin Rogers, also plead guilty to the incident in which I did not pay attention to my doting mother's instructions and accidentally made a whole pot of decaf when she only wanted two cups.
I, Cailin Rogers, also plead guilty to the incident in which I was not paying full attention and my phone took a swim in the family washer.
I sneak nutella out of the jar too. I'm doing it right now actually. Oh, I'm a naughty naughty child. Sigh...
Anyways, the point of this post is not to beat myself up about all of my accidents and mistakes, if I never made any, I'd have no stories to tell. I wanted to talk about the day after Saturday. Can anyone guess what that day is? ....SUNDAE! (btdubbs misspelled that on purpose, I am somewhat aware of how to spell days of the week).
Now you're quieting your applause, and a few of you are sarcastically asking me, Cailin, where the expletive are you going with this? Calm down child, I'm getting there. Sunday is actually my favorite day of the week. Sure you have to scramble to finish all your homework, and you have that preMiserableMonday feeling in the pit of your stomach, but I actually love Sundays.
First, I go to church in the morning, *cough* goody two shoes *cough choke* we serve donuts yo, come at us bro. At church I get to drink coffee, hug people, and hang out with them and just, be myself, (which that whole being yourself thing might not make sense to you, but if you ever meet me in person, I totes will enlighten you) which is completely refreshing.
Second, I get to just chill and hang out with my awesome family. Sometimes it's going out to eat or playing at a park. Sometimes it's just everybody looking at each other and then saying "NAPTIME" in unison. It's good stuff.
Third, I go to a small group that's a bunch of families that have decided to live life together, and lemme tell you, it's pretty cool. I have some really solid friends there so I enjoy going and doing something I've never done before, because I don't know a single small group that's done this style before. So yeah, I like my hipster small group.
And that is all folks I hope you have a good day and-WAIT ALMOST FORGOT VIDEO AND SHOUTOUTS.
Video of the Day:
I figured it semi-correlated with my theme, right? Right.
Shoutouts of the Day: I would like to give a shoutout to the people at my lunch table. THAT'S RIGHT GUYS, CAILIN IS NO LONGER A LONER. WOOT. WOOT. You guys rock. And two, I would like to give a shoutout to whoever has complimented my pink rain boots, I kind of love the idea of standing out, and wearing rain boots in Colorado seems to be the ticket. I wear the footwear I wear for you people! Oh, goodness...
Kay so today was one of those Miserable Mondays...those icky yucky life really sucks kinda days. So since I had one of those days, I wanted to give tips on how you can avoid letting Mr. Miserable Monday suck you down.
1. Fun food. You know you had a terrible day, treat yourself! Whether it's nutella or animal crackers, give yourself a little indulgence.
2. Friends. If you have them, call them up and set up a hangout.
3. Music. Listen to happy music. Psychology says we have a tendency to cheer up when our music is cheery.
4. Youtube and MLIA. Find some vloggers you like that you will enjoy. And MLIA? Well, I'll let you find that one out for yourself.
So yeah...DFTBA!
Video of the Day:
Shoutout of the Day:
I would just like to shoutout to a guy I ran into like literally thirteen times today in the span of five minutes. It was awkward for me as well....see you tomorrow.
My dear beautiful readers, we have spoken of my love for theater. My insatiable, unhealthy love for the world of performing arts, yes, I believe we spoke of such. (For those who are not theatrically inclined, I will not judge if you close out of this blog and go look up videos of cats on Youtube instead. I like cats.)
Well this past week I decided to audition for a nine person show at my (relatively new) school. So did 120 others...so naturally, I'm freaking out, how am I gonna do this? After taking multiple deep breaths, I decided on a monologue I already semi-remembered and had already used as an audition piece.
I began my D-day (audition day) like any other day, tell myself to not worry and move on, and for a time it works. Then as the day progresses, that advice loses it's charm and my stress snowballs. The school bell rings, I'm tapping my foot, drumming my fingers, it's like I've had 4 Red Bulls. Nope, just bout to audition.
I go to an area where it seems many theatrical folks are about to audition. I begin fill out a form and have a pang of homesickness. I miss my theater family... What accent can you perform? Southern. Any special talents? Southern charm. And I can make sweet tea as well.
Turn in the form, I have a good twenty minutes before my appointment. Meandering, I hear people laughing in a room that looks disorganized enough to be a theater classroom. Here goes nothing... I walk in; someone's performing their monologue. I hang back. Once noticed, I say hi, give my name. They ask me to do my monologue which I have NOT practiced. Here goes nothing AGAIN...sure...
My fingers are tingling, my foot itches to tap again. First impressions are important, and I wanted to impress these strangers. I perform. Surprisingly, they laugh (it is a funny monologue). And surprisingly, I did a good job. One says it's the best they've seen. I blush, been awhile since I heard that. Well, it's time to step up to the plate and batter up chica, so go do what you only do best.
My audition time.I walk up to the stage where a bright spotlight is shining. My heart is working overtime like it's boss is over its shoulder. Just walk up the steps, stare into the blinding light. And for a moment, I am home. Then I say my slate and begin my monologue.
It's a beautiful experience when for the first time in an audition, you semi-confidently speak your piece with eloquence and during the entire monologue you're thinking, 'Wow, I'm doing a good job.' The director laughs at the right parts, my confidence builds. Once I'm finished he says, "Hey can you do this more of an inner rage version than passive aggressive?" You betcha. After the first couple lines, I kinda just went improv. And he laughs again. He asks a few more questions, I answer them as wittingly as possible and leave.
Afterwards, I feel surreal. I am so pleased with myself. I realize, I don't even care if I make it into the show (which is good cause I didn't) I was so proud of what I did.
So yeah..I got callbacks, one out of 36 and did a couple cold reading skits, which was fun. One required me meditating, and since I've never meditated, I just pulled a meditating pose and sang the first part of the Lion King. (The Nawn NaPHWEN YA lalaleelosoPA bit.) Only the front row could hear me, and they were cracking up, which made everyone think they were weird cause they had no clue what was so funny about my serious meditation.
So yeah...didn't make the cut, but I still enjoyed myself.
Video of the Day:
A reward for those who read all of this instead of skipping to cat vids.
Shoutout of the Day: I was feeling a wee bit self conscious after callbacks, wandering how I did and such, and two people took time out of their day to tell me I did a really good job. And that made my day. So thanks guys. :)
Hey guys! I have been kind of swamped with all of the crap I've had to do lately, so bear with me, I'll try to roll in the content more often.
Anywho, I wrote a piece in my AP Language class and had to post it on this blog page and all that jazz for a grade. So far it has 0 likes, 0 comments, 22 views and counting. People are viewing it, but no comment. So, it means A: my essay was too ballsy for some people, or B: people are too lazy, or even C: not enough people know me in that class so they don't know how I would respond to commentation. Whatever. Thought I'd show you what I wrote, I'm quite proud of it.
The Taboo that Kills
by Cailin Rogers
What can you do in twenty-six seconds? Can you tie your shoes, throw
a grape in the air and catch it, post a witty tweet? Time seems to rush
so fast, twenty-six seconds seem miniscule on a grand scale. But every
twenty-six seconds someone is forced into sex slavery. Trapped in the
worst of terrors, an unimaginable number of people are forced into the
sex trafficking business.
Oops.
Sorry, I forgot I am not supposed to talk about those kinds of
things with my young impressionable peers. Some of you might cringe,
some scroll onto a different article, because honestly nobody likes to
read about this topic; you want to read something satirical and comedic.
My sincerest apologies, but I’ve stood toe to toe with sex-trafficking
and we’ve given each other a good looking over. Neither of us like what
we see.
We all have a different exposure to sex-trafficking. My story of
exposure isn’t even mine, but needs to be shared. Once upon a time
there was a girl named Shaniya Davis. This beautiful black girl was
reported missing by her school and people started looking for her. She
was found, luckily. In a garbage bin…in a trash bag…dead. It was
discovered that she was raped to death, sold by her parents who were
assumed to be loving and caring, for drugs.
Shaniya Davis was five years old. She had just started kindergarten.
This story played out in where I was living at the time,
Fayetteville, NC, the armpit of America. We were in an uproar, how could
this happen? This shouldn’t and couldn’t happen to five year olds! But
that was before it came to my attention that five year olds are sold
every day to be raped by big scary men. In fact, nowadays three year
olds are really in.
This is bad. I don’t even think I need to tell you that. But that’s not the worst bit.
The worst bit is that there are millions of Americans who are
quite a bit like you and me are. Privileged. Now, you may be thinking,
um Cailin, I’m not privileged, I don’t have the iPhone 5. You have a
roof over your head, food in your belly, and you are relatively safe.
You are privileged. Anyways, there are millions of you and me out
there, and what do the vast majority of us do about this increasing
issue?
Ignore it. Pretend it doesn’t happen.
Today, I challenge you. Challenge you to fight the apathy that
has invaded America and my generation in particular. Don't go all 'I'm
only one person' on me, for godsakes, Gandhi quit eating and he stopped a
civil war! I believe you have the skills to make a difference, and I
believe we as privileged owe it to the oppressed to hold out our hand
for them to grasp. Think, then do. NOTE: I work with an anti-sex trafficking
organization based in Australia (because Aussies are in fact, aussome).
If you want to make a difference with this issue Destiny Rescue has multiple options to assist you on the matter .
You know, before I quit my job and left my school of two years, I had a few friends. I didn't have to worry about trying to find an obscure place to sit in, where I will get the minimum amount of stares. I have to worry about that now...
This sucks more than anything in the world because I have very fond memories of lunches consumed at school. I have a lovely freshman friend that ate lunch with me for about a week; he then informed me not to worry if I didn't see him, for he is in 'desperate need of friends.'Cool.
I didn't really have a plan for this post, maybe just complain to the world how much it sucks to be me right now. How much I hate these feelings of insecurity, have to tell myself, no Cailin they're not speaking to you because they-, they-, there's nothing wrong with you. You are not the problem.
And something that hurts even more is that at my old school, I didn't let anybody be lonely, I talked to everybody, if you looked alone, I asked if you wanted to join my table. This fact just makes it worse..
My sister is dealing with it just fine. She's an introvert, and she has this little hidey hole she goes to, and she doesn't talk to anybody unless she has to. I'm an extrovert. I hate doing this. I talk to everybody around me, and I have come to a conclusion. In the classroom, people are nice to me and talk to me because they're stuck there, but outside of the classroom people have their own agendas, and if your name isn't on one of them, sucks to suck.
Good Lord this is depressing. I'm done with this pity fest.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
So, if you haven't noticed, I've moved to Colorado. I've been here like, what, three weeks? Something like that. My first thoughts?
Colorado hurts.
I'm not even joking, since being here I've had headaches constantly, nosebleeds (which I don't think I've actually had pre-Colorado) and I can't even explain to you what it does to my sinuses, but let me tell you, God did NOT intend it.
Colorado is pretty.
I've never lived in mountain country before, and it is really cool to see those bad boys up close and personal. And lastly,
I am homesick.
My fairly moderate social life has been terminated. I feel like a dinosaur walking around koalas. Not a pretty picture, eh? No, it's not.
So, as I have tried to make clear, I am a Christian.
And most days, people don't like Christians' opinions on things.
So it is rather messy to explain my feelings.
I am...not for homosexuality. I do not and will not propagate it. With that said, it's time I talk about what I AM for.
I am for treating people like the individuals that they are. It is not okay that you should protest vulgarly against somebody and how they feel. You shouldn't call them names, didn't your mamma tell you to treat others the way you wanted to be treated?
I am for respecting others. Respect. It's the one thing we all grab for. Another cliche, you have to give to get. Respect others beliefs, ideas, opinions. It would make the world a better place.
I am for standing up for what you believe in. It's the fundamentals that made America, AMERICA. However, do it tactfully. Tastefully. In a way that makes you classy and professional. Makes people go, "Hey, that guy has a point." Cause if you're not going to do it that manner, just don't do it all.
The back to school commercials are back on. I am going to be a junior this year, and frankly, I'm scared as heck.
I am going to be starting my junior year in a new school, in a different state. I am going to be juggling school, (which I have to excel in) theater, (my zone) work, (so I can afford what I do) and a volunteering gig (one, cause I like doing it and it helps others, two, for college). Not being the greatest juggler and a great procrastinator, this is a little hard on the brain to process.
And besides all of that, I am scared about school, will I be accepted? Will people join the Cailin bandwagon or the anti-Cailin bandwagon? And they expect me to get stuff done around here...
Hey guys, did you know that very prejudice people still exist?
Well, they do.
A great happy wedding was planned for Charles and Te'Andrea Wilson, they booked the church in advance, and everyone was very excited. It was going to be a day remembered forever.
Then, the day before the wedding, they were told they would have to find another revenue, because they were black. According to the pastor, many church members 'objected strongly' to the First Baptist Church in Crystal Springs, MS having their first black wedding.
This my friends is a load of bull. It is unprofessional, unconstitutional, and it's against what the Good Book says. This is a male and female. They can get married according to God, no matter the color. This pastor should be ashamed for not standing up for this lovely couple, the congregation should be ashamed of themselves for objecting, and Crystal Springs for knowing such awful people roam the streets.
I am infuriated. I am just so ashamed of my Southern brothers and sisters. Oh sweet Jesus, this is 2012 this is not okay!
Moving on, so I have heard that this Fifty Shades of Grey book has sold more copies than Harry Potter. I don't plan on reading it. Because it is quite evident, that this book is Twilight porn. And I am just not really a porn reader, sorry to bust some of you guys' bubble. Gotta be me guys.
But as far as the whole 'Fifty Shades of Grey sold more than Harry Potter' ruckus, I really don't...care. Hear me out, this is obviously just more proof that 'sex sells' and bad stuff will always sell. But Harry Potter, and other books like the Narnia series or other classics will be around hopefully, forever. Fifty Shades of Grey won't last. So calm down.
Video of the Day:
A cool Youtube series I follow.
Shoutout of the Day: Whoever was in the black truck that honked like crazy at me and waved, thank you, I needed that scary honking and waving. I felt better about myself after that. And when my heart started beating again. So yeah, thanks stranger. :)
So my poor dear neglected readers, I have left you with the understanding that my parents are unemployed, my mom's pregnant, and my life is well, screwed. Let me update you sweethearts.
We got multiple "we are interested in you"s from a lot of different places. We accepted an offer in Colorado. Aurora, CO. I know if you're a somewhat quick person you're like, um that Aurora, you know the one that made nat'l news a week ago?
Yes.
Is it disconcerting to think about moving there? A bit. But then, its disconcerting to move anywhere. You don't know what's on the other side, you're just praying you get to that Promise Land. Because, after getting over the fact that we are moving, I've actually gotten exciting about moving. Colorado is 'sposed to be really beautiful.
Hence, I am moving in two weeks. It will be a 22 hour drive. Yeahhhhh buddy.
And I just had to give my two weeks notice to my boss. *Sad face* It sucks. I will miss my Thai restaurant family.
But I know the question you're all thinking, Cailin, are you going to have that heck of a goodbye party? No. No I will not. No way. So the question that comes after that response is, well Cailin, why? Let's just say a cast party that I was looking forward to did not go the way I intended and I left an hour early. Because I realized that I was not sitting by anybody who wanted to sit by me, and nobody wanted to talk to me. In fact, I had the epiphany that I was getting all worked up over a bunch of people who didn't give a shit about me. These people wouldn't miss me when I was gone. No one would be like, 'Oh, I wish Cailin were here.' So I left.
Well, that was depressing. Onto other happier news, I FOUND OUT WHAT MY MOM IS HAVING. I WISH I COULD REVEAL BUT I HAVE SWORN SECRECY TO A CERTAIN DATE. BUT PLEASE NOTE THAT I AM VERY EXCITED BY THIS.
I think that was all...
Oh wait.
Thanks to you guys, I have had 1002 views. I thank you all cordially from the bottom of my heart.
Video of the Day:
No judging.
Shoutout of the Day: To a guy who is probably at a Nebraskan reunion eating lots of cereal and pb&j. Thanks. For caring. It helped. And I won't forget.
So I have this friend named Maddie, and I think she is absolutely wonderful. She is in the summer musical at my school, called Guys and Dolls. And this show is set in 1950's and it's about gambling, and girls, and guys, and well, I don't really know.
However, she told me there is this short little stripper scene and she was cast to be in that scene and she talked to our director and said that she would not like to be in that scene and he completely understood. Some people gave her flack but she stood her ground. And I'm proud of her for that. I probably would be in the same boat she's in if I was in that show.
But that makes me think about women and how they are portrayed in our society. And thinking about it, American women are not portrayed in a positive light. Isn't that sad? We are portrayed either as sexual objects, or scary over-estregenized feminists! Neither are good...
How do you go about changing society's image of you? Of your gender? Of where you come from? Of your skin color? Of your ethnicity? Of you sexual orientation?
1. You can eat what you like. No one is shoving the greens down your throat. (But seriously, I miss my mom's cooking..) I think I'm gonna get takeout tomorrow..
2. You can watch whatever. I'm a big fan of romantic comedy and drama, and my family is more action movie. I also love mystery tv shows. I've recently fallen in love with the Mentalist. (Simon Baker, you rock.)
3. You get all the cat's attention. My cat isn't extremely affectionate, so I enjoy getting all of her attention.
4. It's okay to not do dinner dishes immediately. That's what mornings are for.
5. Sleeping in without being nagged. This is a kinda a 'duh' point.
6. You can sing as loud as you want without being fussed at. I'm a very musical person.
7. You can take your time in the shower. Another 'duh' point.
Well, even with all these benefits, I can't wait to see my parents tomorrow. So, have a good day.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
So, I had an orthodontist appointment the other day. And I strongly, STRONGLY dislike orthodontists. Dentists aren't on my list of good people in this world either. (No offense to any orthodontia or dentia people reading this, a grudge is a grudge.) Anywho, an orthodontist comes in, looks at my teeth for two minutes and says, "You need braces." Now, I didn't want to hear this. I wanted him to say, "Everything will magically and painlessly come together, have a nice day." But he didn't. He filled out his paperwork to reschedule us, and said have a nice day. Before he left, I said, hey, how long will these things have to be in? You know what he said.
Two years. Two effin years.
For those who don't realize this, I am going to be a junior. I DO NOT want the last two years of high school spent wearing braces. Braces Cailin can say goodbye to ever getting a homecoming date, and goodby to ever getting a lead role in a musical. (Unless of course, they're making Ugly Betty into a musical.) So this is all kind of crushing for me.
And, I don't even know where we'll be living in like, two weeks, so can you spell POINTLESS. Anyway, I'm going to ask the orhtodontist about invisible braces, (invisalign) and if that works out, it just may make me want to start breathing again. Because I've been just hyperventilating for the past couple days.
There's a church called the Vineyard, or as some young fellas like to call it, VCC.
My stepdad was laid off from said church.
I was not happy with said church. I kind of put quite a bit of blame on VCC. Now, times are tough, and he wasn't laid off because they wanted to. They miss him.
I kind of phased out on those facts as my life was put in a blender and pureed.
Now, SOS was a weeklong program I had signed up for with VCC and as it approached, I was definitely having second thoughts on this whole shindig. I hadn't been there in months...would people be happy to see me?
And let me tell you....
People surprise me.
My ol' church friends were thrilled to see me again, and people I hadn't met were very nice and friendly. I think I met at least fifteen new people. At least.
The group I was in was mainly my small group, and we all got along very well. There was no drama, and there was a lot of heart opening and hugging going on.
Now, was it life changing?
Well, yeah.
And I enjoyed every minute.
I enjoyed the awesome worship and messages and the free time that was never wasted. I enjoyed all the conversations and prayers and hugs, I gave or received. And the big white letters that spelled the truth of SOS. It was EPIC.
I've been researching some ways to make a little cash because God knows, I need it (want it). So far, I've come up with a few ideas.
Blogging. What a novel idea...
House cleaning. Because I am magical, making this job easy for me.
Pet sitting. Now, I've done this. And it is a cool job, when lil' Missy Priss doesn't decide to scratch all the way down your arm, leaving you to google cat scratch fever and the symptoms.
Babysitting. Because I love children. So. MUCH.
Odd jobs. Well, I am odd. Am I in a full-time position and I don't know it?
Plasma. Been trying to convince my parents to do this. Just need to wear them down a littleeee bit more.
Chickens. Okay, my craycray idea. When we move to another house, I could spend a little money and keep some chickens. The eggs that come frome these chickens would first be sold to my neighbors, and would expand. Maybe the whole block would buy from me.
I need a business card. "Cailin Rogers: Broke smart aleck. Jack of all trades. Teenage girl who can use a drill. Contact #-" What do you think?
So, after a Harry Potter marathon, I've taken a shower and stuffed my face. And I'm pretty sure that's ALL I'm capable of right now.
My parents are actually leaving in two days to go to Cambodia and Thailand. And instead of going on a cruise or the beach, they are going to the red light district, to aid those who need it. I'm very proud.That kind of proud that makes you puff out your chest when you say, 'Those are MY folks.'
You know, it's kind of shocking to hear previous generations talking about all the things they did, and how much they didn't have to worry about stalkers, hoodlums, or thieves. I feel like my generation worries more than older ones did when they where my age. Is it true? I don't know. I'll get back to you on that.
Over and out.
Love, Cailin
So, alot of stuff has happened to me and my family.
Just to keep you up to date, my dad is currently in Afghanistan, and I miss him a TON. Also my stepdad got laid off at the church he was working at, which sucks. He has got multiple offers from churches and right now we are going through the process of visiting those churches. It's kind of gone down to a small town, or a church in the middle of the boonies. Which is the middle of NOWHERE nowhere. No joke.
Oh, and my mom's pregnant. It'll be her fifth.
I have been really really really REALLY struggling with the fact that we will have to move. That I will have to leave my church family, my work, my school and theater. Because I wanted to graduate from the high school I'm at. And I can't. I can't.
Also, theater. I LOVED THE PEOPLE AT MY THEATER. I wanted to work my way to the top. Now, wherever I go, I'll be at the bottom. Again. And I BLED FOR THE DICTATORSHIP I'M CURRENTLY IN. (soefjwlerijfhawieoruqja;mwoejrw.) I'm just glad I don't have to fuss and cry about being in Ensemble B, because I won't even be there to be looked down upon. Won't even be there. And maybe when my director calls my name, and they're like 'she moved.' Someone might think about what talent I have or haven't displayed.
Church. I will miss those people SO much. I can't even go into that building without being upset.
You guys don't understand. Cincinnati, is NOT a nice city. It plans on chewing you up and spitting you out the very minute you step on that rocky soil. And people weren't used to my constant wit and deep-fried sarcasm. They're more tightly knit then a grandma's sweater. It took people about a year to fully warm up to me. And a few guys are starting to give me looks, like you know, those kind of looks. And I'm leaving. After winning a battle. And I'm more pissed and upset than I've ever been ever.
Because I was ready. I was ready to spend my next two years at Sycamore and graduate in 2014 with a class that I'd spent four years with. I'd move out to an Ohioan college who had the best bargain. And that's what would happen. But no.
I, I can't handle it. I CAN'T. I mean, do you know what kind of love life you have in a new place? At first, you're ogled. You're stared at so much, you could be walking around naked and you would get the same amount of eyeballs on you. Then, they ignore you, you could be nonexistent, you're not on their radar. They go out with the girls they've known since third grade. By the end of the year you've spent in that hellhole, they realize, hey, she's actually a person, and start being friendly and friends, and you actually have people to hug. By the middle to the last bit of your second year, they start giving looks, some develop a liking towards you (which, BTW they never voice) even a itty bitty crush. And THEN you move. And the vicious cycle repeats itself.
At this point, I just know I'm going to have one hell of a goodbye party.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
Have any advice? Leave a comment, or email me at tenderheart21496@yahoo.com yep. Or tweet me. That would be sweet.
So...I decided to do a bucket list. Of things I want to do before I kick the bucket. This was inspired by sarcaschicks, just fyi. MOVING ON.
MY THINGS TO DO BEFORE I KICK THE BUCKET LIST
1. Rock climb again. I have not gone rock climbing since my parents divorced. And I would like to do that again, I have fond memories of times that we went.
2. Be the lead role. I want to be a lead role. In a movie or on stage. So badly. It doesn't matter if I have the role when I'm 17 or when I'm 45, I want one.
3. I want to inspire someone. I want someone to walk up to me and say, "Cailin, you inspired me." It would just make life more than worth it.
4. Backpack Europe. I know a lot of girls who want to do this and hey, I don't blame them! It just sounds like a lovely adventure, filled with all kinds of wonderful experiences.
5. Get kissed on the Eiffel Tower. Yes, another cliche, I'm full of 'em. But...I can't help myself. (As I write this, I'm blushing, just so you know.) (Writing all of this on the internet might be a bad idea.)
6. Skinny dip. Don't judge.
7. Find meaning in life. So many people wander around, not getting what they're 'sposed to do in life. I don't want to be one of those lost souls.
8. Have enough money to give back to those who need it. I want to be wealthy enough to give more to the world. Wether that is buying food at a farmer's market, or sponsoring a child overseas. I aim for that.
9. Write a book. It would be fun. Trying to get it published might turn me into an alcoholic though...
10. Get married to someone I love...and stay married. This is kind of my 'big dream' I guess. I don't like being by myself a ton, so it would be lovely to have someone to walk through life with. One day, I would love to say, "I've been married for-" and then a big number come after.
So yeah...I feel like I've thoroughly embarrassed myself. Let's put this on twitter!
Last year, I bawled. Like, tear stains on people's shirts bawled. And this year, I resolved to time my emotional breakdown. I hugged all my senior friends whom I would miss oodles and practically ran when the bell rang. When I got home, I grabbed some tissues and a chocolate chip cookies and had my yearly weep over the fact that I would never see these people and how much I would miss them and really just yeah. It was great.
I don't really have much to talk about. I have to get ready for work in 10 minutes. Woohoo.
Hey! Something to look forward to is the fact that in a week or two I will be done with school and you will have me all to yourselves. That is something to look forward to, eh?
I'm pretty pumped about summer. I'm going to go down to my Aunt Theresa's and run with her gang and then to see some family and then hopefully I'll get my license and maybe just maybe work my butt off all summer so I can afford a car. I'm excited.
Seniors of 2012, good luck. I got big dreams for y'all.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
Hey guys, long time no write. My bad. First off, if you haven't seen Les Mis, you totally should.
Second, I'm not sure how to introduce this, but I've always had this need to protect others. I can't stand seeing others hurting or upset. I have an instinct to make it better for them. Bullying brings back hurt. Quite a bit of hurt.
Now, I was never physically abused, mostly verbal. I've been called all sorts of things. I remember when I was like, I don't know, seven or eight. And I started getting picked on for not having straight teeth. So I started not smiling without my teeth more, and I don't smile with my teeth in pictures.
When I was seventh grade I was heavily picked on by a group of girls that dissed almost everything I did. I was also picked on by a boy. Mightily. My definition of a *!#@(&$?"{. I finally broke down and told my parents and they made the girls leave me alone. And I'm pretty sure I boiled over and poked that boy with a pencil. I got a detention for it, but he never bothered me again.
When I was eighth grade, I moved to this very ghetto school district and therefore had to go to a ghetto school and there I was very much shunned and snickered about and that was very hurtful to me.
So with all that personal crap out in the open, can anyone guess what my opinion is on bullying?
One. If you're bullying someone, you don't deserve anything that you have. You don't. Go and apologize. Grovel at their feet. Right now. Two, if you are being bullying, GET HELP. Talk to someone, it helps I swear. And don't believe one word they say. Get through it. Survive. You can do it.
The doors open, people come in droves, some walking, some running.Vitales are set out, coffee is poured as news and nods are exchanged. People mingle and hug one another.
A signal is given and everybody goes into a main room. Music starts to play and people stand up and start to sing. Standing up and looking around, many have scars on their bodies, some have slash marks on their faces, chests, legs, stomachs. There is a corner where a group of persons are washing and wrapping wounds, quietly soothing when someone cries out in pain. The music stops, people sit. The room is very quiet, the group understands that this is a safe place, the outside of the building is surrounded by their enemies. But now, they do not fight, they rest.
Walking to the front of the room, a man hobbles on crutches. He is the teacher, and undisputed leader. He has a long scar from his ear to his chin, a claw that grazed too deep. He is the most battered of the individuals in this tribe. Speaking softly, he begins to teach, his voice inspiring the congregation by nature. Some weep, others nod their approval. When he finishes, he addresses the people as a whole. He encourages them to keep fighting, that their struggle is not in vain. He fiercely reminds them of the promise, the victories and the risks taken. He bows his head, lifts it, and leaves the main room.
People stand up, more animated than before. Some go to the corner to receive healing. Many go to the doors. A silence falls. The tribe sharpens their weapons. Soldiers, they draw their swords, their axes, their bows. They can see the enemy behind the translucent doors. Those outside the door have been waiting hungrily, claws extended. The teacher comes to front of the group. He draws his weapon, issuing a cry to battle. The doors open. And they charge.
So, you may have realized, (I've mentioned it a few times) that I am a sophomore in high school. I have also grown up with a value of education: both of my parents have sacrificed a lot for each to go to college. I have always assumed that I will (must) go to college; not going to college is not an option, the only option is how much I will spend on it.
With this mentality, I have always kept an ear out for what's happening in the world of textbooks and mechanical pencils. And recent stats have me worried. It's said that 55% of people who graduate with a degree will get a job out of college (in the profession their degree is tailored to). Some of it is people picking the wrong major, but if you think about it there's about a 50-50 chance that the multiple years of time and money that you put into that piece of paper will get you a job. Isn't that terrible?
Also, people are getting laid off left and right. I have two family members that lost their jobs. And they both had their degrees in that field.
I know a 35 year old who is a waitress working minimum wage, same job as I do. She got laid off.
This is crazy!!! People need to understand whats up, and start doing something. Start breaking things. DO. SOMETHING. And that is my plea to the adults of this world. That is your mission today: break something. I already accomplished that mission this morning. (I'm cool.....no.)
Hey guys,
So, I get into these conniptions. Where I can't find something. And I HAVE TO HAVE IT RIGHT THEN. So I rip my room apart to find this object.
So I can't find my ipod. And I would like to know where it is. Does this happen to you?
Insane blogger,
Over and out.
Cialin
Now I have done other posts on theater and some of why I like it so much. But today, I'm going to try and solidify and pinpoint WHY I am enamored with such a time-consuming art.
1. Drama=Theater. Drama=Cailin. Theater=? I am a dramatic person. I am all about flourishing and twirling and singing. And theater, on most occasions, is a lot of flourishing and twirling and singing.
2. Fruits are seen. In theater when I have to build something or do a scene, I have the satisfaction of finishing and or improving. It's not as long term, as some things are.
3. Theater is familial. I went to see 'Into the Woods' a musical done by the esteemed actors at my high school and I was very impressed. The best part was I knew almost EVERYBODY in the cast and when the show was over, I hugged every one of them and told them what a good job they did. And when you're in a show, the cast you work with becomes very much a family. And me, being a very warm fuzzy-feely kind of person, is easily drawn to this.
SO there you have it!
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
P.S.
The pic of Cinderella is Jeremy McDaniels' so, no harm towards you sir.
I've been doing some thinking...and so has my mom apparently. She told me she had an idea, and I, as a good daughter should, said: "Oh dear."
But she told me how someone else had told her that their teen had said that she realized that in a few generations, a lot of stuff that was common knowledge will become unknown, like cooking and roofing houses and changing tires. And we talked about it, I realized that a lot of moms right now work so much, they don't have the energy to make a home-cooked meal. Luckily, I'm spoiled. And my mommy makes me hot meals almost every evening. (Hey, don't hate on me. I help.)
It's made me realize though: America has lost its value in work. Work, the blood, and sweat, and tears. Parents are raising their children with the stuff they never had as kids, depriving them of the grit they will need to make the world a better place. And you can't make gravy without flour. My mom said that too soon we'll just outsource everything, which will cripple our economy. (She also says Caucasians care more about their animals than having their own kin.) (Which is so true.)
I am an idealist, so I would like to think that my generation has potential, and we can put out some of the fires past generations had set fire to. Of course I know that the reality of life is that we're a bunch of screwed up people and we have kids that grow up to be screwed up people and those kids have kids... But I would like to think that life is an ongoing cycle of generations lighting fires, and putting out other fires.
Enough of my philosophical ramble,
Over and out!
Love,
Cailin
I know, you're all like, "Oh look, it's that slacker blogger, what does SHE want?" And yes, yes it is that slacker blogger that you've been warned about. And I want your attention.
Today I got a haircut, and for most people it's no big deal, they get a trim, all done. But for me, it is not so. SO NOT SO. I must pick through hundreds of pictures on Google that feature 'short cuts for girls that are round-faced with fine hair' and I must find that ONE HAIRDO. I must fall in love with that hairdo, and I must go to the hair salon and marry it. In that order.
Cause you see I have short hair already, so if I don't like the cut, I'm kinda stuck with it. But I do, and every time I get a new haircut it's like BAM perspective time. So yeah.
And maybe, maybe right now you feel a little ripped off. Right now maybe you're like, wow, can't believe I just wasted 3 minutes of my life reading this. You know what. You know what?
Some think that learning is boring and not fun. I disagree.
On the internet, in fun and witty ways, I have learned:
about the fall of Rome
how sugar is made
how procrastination works
how to cure my fish's illness (didn't make it, poor guy.)
different idea's on faith
political sides and viewpoints
how to understand Spanish preterite
how caffeine works
See when people think of learning, some have a negative association because they think of 'learning' as the method of teachers shoving stuff down their throat. It is not that, and I hope that people will discover that learning is much different than they realize, that teachers realize that there are better ways of teaching things, ways that make things stick in kids heads. And I hope they do so before I graduate (in 2014, for the curious.) But I'll try not to get my hopes too far up.
Over and out.
Love, Cailin
I feel like I need to apologize, you probably looked at my blog and was like "hey, Cailin posted something guys, gather round, let's check it out!" And you gathered around and I ate you. I did. Ripped you apart and roasted you. Probably think I'm crazy right? Well I am. Boo.
If you couldn't tell by my post, not all is going well in my life, and that is not fun. I'm going to be alright though, so let me tell you a story that will hopefully cheer you up..
It is springtime, (I feel like it's summer, but hey. Crush my dreams. No biggie.) and one lovely day I dropped my backpack on the floor of the mudroom of my house and went on my merry way.
The next day, I went to school and was sitting in my math class, nodding off, when I look to my backpack, and see a whole STAMPEDE of ants crawling out of my backpack into my math class. Turns out they had smelt my Trident double layers (DARN YOU DOUBLE LAYERS) and decided to check out that beautiful smell. I was HORRIFIED. I was squishing them, I was looking around praying to God no one would notice. And no one did. Not one person noticed. So I decided to share that story with the whole internet. Aren't I bright?
This girl that I work with um, she asked me how I would describe myself in 3 words. I said that I was:
Witty-I think I'm pretty funny. I literally laugh harder than the person I'm trying to make laugh. I'm sad. Why are you still reading this?
Compassionate- I can't watch a mouse die. Now spider, that is a whole different ballgame sugar, but I can't. I can't read sad books, or movies. So yeah.
Creative- I have so many ideas and thoughts in my brain it would literally kill you to look inside and see.
So yeah. Awkward.
OVER AND FREAKING OUT.
Love,
Cailin
I am sorry, I need to rant. I have a boatload of homework and I should be working on the multiple projects and crap that I have but screw it I NEED TO VENT.
I am not happy. I don't like not being considered 'pretty' by society's standards. I don't have the long glamorous hair you would see in a shampoo commercial, nor am I blonde, nor do I have massive cleavage. And I don't expose my nonexistent cleavage. My teeth are not the straightest, whitest teeth you've ever seen. But you're not looking at a hunchback sweetheart!
I have multiple friends that are in photo. They occasionally say, 'oh hey I need people to take pics of for my photo project' or some crap like that on facebook, and I'll be like 'sure, call me if you need me.' No call, no comment. Like I said nothing at all about it. BUT. I. DID. Wonder why I never got a call?
None of this helps my nonexistent self esteem. And you know what also doesn't help? I positively affirm people. I do it all the time. I can think of three times I did it today. I affirm people because it comes naturally to me, and I love being positively affirmed. I crave it. I affirm my cat by accident, because it's so natural. And I too often don't receive it, too often I ask 'how was your day' and they don't ask me.
I'm tired. I'm angry. And I need to get crap done. But GOD FORBID things come to me easy. I don't feel good at anything. Anything at all.
You've just experienced a Cailin vent, email me if you need counseling because of this.
Over and out.
Cailin
My computer needs a new charger. Joy. So I'm using my stepdad's cantankerous machine. Sooooooooo....let's chat.
If you haven't noticed, I'm a semi-bookworm. Don't plan on changing that. And my family and I kind of has this ritual that we go through when we go to the library. (Told you I was old school. It's cheaper that way.) We enter the library, pay our late fees. (That library makes more money from us than the government, I'm not kidding you.) And then we separate and go to our sections, (Children, young adult, not young adult.) at some point Mom realizes that we need to go; she looks through the piles of books we've picked out. She picks out the trashy literature, and then we check out. The car ride is silent, all of us reading our new finds. So yeah, hope you don't feel like you wasted your life reading that.
Today, I went with my stepdad and we went to an area that is...of lower class than ours, it was pretty much, a ghetto. And we handed out free hotdogs and Peeps. Yes marshmallow Peeps. I didn't really have a job, I was more of the advertiser of our shindig. I went up to people and got them to come over to where we were at. I mean, after walking around three guys who were smoking something funky. But it was good, I got to tell people why were handing out free stuff and talk to people about our church and it was good. So yep.
UPDATES!! I have decided after some debate that I am going to put ads up here. I'm sorry, I'll try to make them inconspicuous. Second matter of business is that I decided to try vlogging....and I put one vlog up. Problem is, you can't hear it unless the turn the volume ALLLLLL the way up. So I need a mike and tripod. (Or maybe just a better camcorder.) So what did I learn? Don't buy a video camera from ebay. Learned my lesson. Last new bit of info, I'm writing a novel. Well, co-writing, but it feels an awful lot like writing. And that is all, folks.
Over and out.
Love, Cailin
P.S.
There is a reason I did not link my vlog. Because it was terrible!!! Will blog about it later.
Hey guys,
I am back, how did you hold up with me not being in your life for like 3 days? The lake house was fun. Horrendously fun.
I went kayaking today in this little inlet and there were so many TURTLES. And turtles are like my favorite animal, them and penguins, but you don't find many penguins in an inlet you can kayak around. I mean, not in North America. I'm getting off topic, sorry, I'm exhausted. These turtles were ADORABLE and TEENY like really really teeny it was ADORABLE.
We went home around 6ish(?) and I fell asleep on the way and right now my body is telling me to go to bed Cailin, you're tired. But I care about you guys so.....I'm writing this rabbit trail.
When I first wrote the post 'Things I can Do' I had no idea people would like it, when I first started out people didn't really enjoy my posts about myself, but hey, people can be surprising. You guys surprise me. All the time. YEP. Need to end this post. Right now.
Over and out.
Love,
Cailin
I'm just gonna try and strenghten my friendships and be more of myself around people. And I'm sorry my posts have been so short recently, I have had no time to think or process anything. Which is partly these kids' faults.
